Jose Vanders – A Little Love Song.
I’ve used it before, and i’ll use it again. It’s beautiful.
I know i said wouldn’t blog. I say a lot of things. But i’m happy. And that changes my world.
So. I went away to Turkey for a week. I sent a text to the 4 people that mean the most in the world to me, because i had a very bad feeling about the plane. I know it sounds stupid, but i was scared, so i texted those 4 people saying if anything happened, i loved them, and honestly meant that. But, I’m alive, and that’s good. I got chatted up by turkish waiters, went on a jeep safari and had a water fight, got a slight tan, and got caked in mud. It was great. All the time i kept in contact with Lizzy and Josh, and it was really good.
But what i loved most about my holiday was coming back. I had a few texts from various people throughout the week, most of which i didn’t really care enough to reply to. But as soon as i turned on my phone, the first text i got was off Mark. And we texted msot of the night. And taht was great. He knew i was nervous abotu the flight, and he even checked the news to make sure i was safely there. And that really made me happy. Because he’s lovely. And then he asked me what i thought my purpose in life is.
I gave him a simple answer, saying i just thought it was to make people happy. Then i got to thinking. I don’t aim to make people happy. I aim to make people happy who need or deserve it. I mean, if someone’s upset, i want to help them out. I feel bad that they’re upset, and that upsets me. So, i do want to make people happy. But i also try and bring judgement to those who deserve it. If people act out of order… then i’ll try and have the courage to voice my discouragement on what they’re doing. And if they continue or argue… then granted, i’ll loose my temper, but i genuinly think my judgement’s unbias, so i don’t mind so much.
ANYWAY of from that.
The reasons i’m happy:
-It’s summer
-Because it’s summer, i get to see josh regularly, and he makes me happy
-Lizzy is the bestest ever friend i could get.
-My boyfriend thinks i’m beautiful
-I have some friends that mean a lot to me, and they care.
-I didn’t die/I’m alive
-I spent hours with my boyfriend hanging out with him. And although i know i’ve said i’ve loved before and whatever, i honestly do love him. Ask Lizzy… he’s pretty damn close to perfect. And i can admit that, because it’s true. Ask Lizzy.
-I’ve read a lot, and reading makes me happy
-I’m listening to a beautiful song that i love to sing along to
…. the list goes on.
And sorry…. i know i just mentioned josh. But it reminded me of something.
The word “Forever”. I hate saying that word. When i tell someone i love them, i don’t like saying forever. I’m pessimistic, i know i won’t be alive forever, so how can i love them. But, thinking on this, I’m a christian. Whether you believe in god or not doesn’t affect me. So, in reailty, i believe in eternal life. Which kinda means i believe that i could share feelings forever. So then i confused myself.
So i decided, i don’t care about forever. I’m living right now.
Josh told me today that he wished we could be together forever. And it didn’t bother me. It didn’t upset me. It was beautiful.
I know i’m only 15.
Thing is…. as a veiw Josh now, he;s perfect. He’s beyond clever, he makes me laugh a lot, we joke about, we make eachother happy. He’s a perfect gentleman… and i don’t know anyone who doesn’t like him. He’s just like that. Plus he’s bloody gorgeous. That’s just a massive bonus though. And i know that when he’s older, he’s going to make someone the happiest wife in the world. I have to think of how many people find true love at 15, and how many couples last that. I know chances are against me. I just can’t help but wish that i could be with him for as long as possible. He makes me truly happy. I don’t just wanna shag him. I like chatting to him. I don’t loose my patience. And yeah…. i dont; know what that was about.
Anyway… I’m going to start a new blog. I’m not sure of the address. But i feel like a new person. I still get upset a lot, and i have my depressed moments, but since the 26th of April, i honestly feel like someone different. And she deserves a blog that isn’t empty. There will be a new introduction, and possibley a new sign off. Most likely to be found at http://emmaodonnell.wordpress.com . In fact, it will be found there.
So, hopefully for the last time,
Peace out, Much Love, Rock On
Emma O’Donnell
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